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Everyone now knows who’s in and who’s not, and they tell us who’s in, they tell us who’s not, we’ll be officially informed after the 16th of December, when the letters go out, diddencha no, didn’t you know, it’s all over the papers, the sixteenth.

My cousins send me SMS messages. Sabing perebet ryan, ai ai sir, wat is u coman, ha ha, selamat bertugas di kawasan Abu Sayaf.

My Bahasa Melayu teacher from primary school, J, sends me an SMS message, Easy, just use all your camping skills, tapi mesti hormat bos lah. He should know. He went through training for the police force, but after passing the tests, decided not to join up.

Neighbours and friends warn me, There might be ego-stuffed STPM leavers and young pekerja or retirees, heads with the big ego of youth or the regret and geram-ness of old age, the gaya of ‘Ah, when I was your age…’, and ‘Ah, you’re still young’, the headiness of power, so you watch out for them buayas, them crocodiles and alligators, you watch out.

I will.

You better.

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